When you are a new mother, sometimes you might have a difficult time saying what it is that you actually need. Yes, of course you need the little things for baby. But while diapers and baby wipes are an obvious must, they may not be the things that your subconscious mind is screaming out loud for. Deep down there are some very helpful things that family and close friends can provide that speak volumes. Don’t be afraid to find your voice and express your desire for these things if you are a new mommy in desperate need of any of the following:
1. A Nap!
Okay, so there isn’t a fully-rested new mom alive on the planet, that one is pretty much a given. If you’re solely a breastfeeding mother then this truth couldn’t be any more real as you are the only food source for your constantly hungry baby. If you have a breast pump try making an extra bottle and mention to someone close to you that you’re in dire need for some rest. Most people love babies, especially super tiny new ones, so finding someone to babysit for just an hour two at your home while you’re there shouldn’t be too difficult. Most grandmothers are a good person to elect for this… hint, hint.
2. A Home-Cooked Meal
The last thing any new mom feels like doing is slaving in the kitchen for hours. During those first few weeks back at home with a newborn following your normal routines is trying, to say the least. Having someone bring over a fresh meal, whether it be oven-ready or freezer ready to save for later, is better than almost anything else they could possibly bring. Your body just went through pregnancy and a delivery and you need proper nourishment and the thought of eating take-out yet again is daunting. The spouse will most likely really appreciate this generous offer, too.
3. Keep Your Opinions to Yourself
It seems that everyone has an opinion in life, and the last thing that any new mother wants is unsolicited advice on how to do their job correctly. Swaddling may be tricky and confusing at first, but having someone breathing down your neck about how to do it “like so” is beyond annoying and will set your already crazy hormones into overdrive. If someone can’t seem to resist their temptation to tell you what to do and how to do it don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them “thanks, but I wasn’t asking.” You’ve got enough on your plate, and the last thing you need is someone overbearing and opinionated around to nitpick you. Come with positivity or don’t come at all.
4. Laundry… help!
Household chores are a thing of the past for most new moms who would rather have a hot shower than sweep a floor or do a load of much-needed laundry. Try and see when someone comes over to visit the baby if they can give you a helping hand while they are there. After all, they are getting to ooh and aah over that adorable baby that you just brought into this world. If they are still there once laundry is done have them help you fold it, too!
5. Get assistance with the kiddos—whether that’s the real or the four-legged kind
When the new baby initially comes into the picture it’s very difficult to find a balance since your newborn is in constant need of you more than anyone else. If you have other kids or family pets (or even both) don’t be shy about asking someone to help you out in those first few weeks so that the other members of the household don’t feel neglected. Have them help out with the kids by coming over to play or take the kids to the park. If you have a dog, a friend helping out with daily walks is huge for your comfort level and will make the dog very happy and less stir crazy in return.
6. Above All, CALL Before You Come
Unless your unexpected company is waltzing in with a hot meal, eager to babysit, with an itch to do a few loads of laundry, do not feel bad about telling them they’re not being considerate of your crazy schedule and utter lack of routine. Showing up announced is rude, unless this unexpected visitor is a ray of sunshine toting a surprise. Put your foot down and establish a time frame that works for you for visitors to come see the new baby. Better yet, be sure that they are coming to check on you, too. Just because everything is all baby now doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be treated with courtesy as well.
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