I frequently hear new mothers, especially the celebrity moms, espouse that once they gave birth, they realized there was something more important in the universe than themselves.
Yep.
You are a mother and the whirlwind ride of your life has begun. Batten the hatches, gird your loins. You and your life will never be the same.
What I’ve learned from being a mother for nearly 34 years:
1. My desires and aspirations weren’t necessarily (or usually) theirs.
2. Living vicariously is just that. It’s great when your kids have done something commendable and noteworthy and you should be proud of them but you really need your own stuff.
3. No two children are the same.
4. At times, you will really dislike your kids.
5. At times, your kids will really dislike you.
6. Let little kids get dirty. Clothing washes.
7. Indulging and spoiling does not work.
8. If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. (I am really strong at this point.)
9. You are extremely disappointed in your child’s behavior or performance. Have a secret pity party and then get over it. Don’t belabor the issue or browbeat the kid. Just because he didn’t win a first place trophy isn’t the end of the world (although it may seem like it at the time but, come on, that’s just plain silly.) This leads to …
10. Put things into perspective. It may seem extremely important now but is it really, in the long run?
11. Give them some rope. Yeah, they may hang themselves on it a time or two but this is the only way they’re going to learn.
12. Let them face the consequences. I know, I know, it’s hard. You want to save and protect them but sometimes …
13. Tough love exists for a reason. Yes, it can be difficult when a parent has to lower the boom but sometimes it’s necessary. When a situation calls for it, rise up on your hind legs and yell at the top of your lungs: NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! You are the parent so it is your prerogative to pull rank when needed.
14. Just because you are fearful of something doesn’t mean they are. Keep your fears in check and shut your mouth.
15. Don’t be so rigid (think Kate Gosselin of Kate Plus Eight) that you can’t relax, forgo the rules, be damned with the schedule and just hang with your kids. Do not march the kids before a firing squad over a discarded pair of underwear on the bedroom floor.
16. Don’t involve kids in grown-up stuff.
17. Ignore the tattoo. (Me, gritting my teeth.)
18. This too shall pass.
19. Hold them tight; let them go.
20. Sometimes, sh*t happens!
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