Baby showers. The age-old tradition that almost every pregnant women during their third trimester does. When this used to be something thrown by family members, strictly for ladies and filled with baby games and oohing and aahing over cutesy baby gifts, it has now become something much different. The couples shower has gained popularity, as well as the male diaper party version so the guys can have some fun, too. But when it’s not your first child, how do you know what is the right course of action?
Honestly, it’s completely up to you. You can use your own discretion of what you feel is right. Because more importantly than anything, the next child did not choose their birth order in your family, and they (and you as momma-to-be) should be treated with the same courtesy as you were with your first child, regardless of how close in age they will be. When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, shockingly 6 months after I had my first, the last thing I expected was for anyone to throw me a baby shower. In the back of my mind all I could think was that my friends/family were all secretly thinking, “Didn’t we just buy her something?”
And while this may or may not have been true, like I’ve always said, babies are miracles. While the pregnancy came as a bit of a surprise, I was glad to be having another child. I love babies, and felt that my unborn child should be treated with the same level of respect and consideration. After all, it’s not like she had any choice in the matter in being the second child, or so close in age. Although I resisted the idea initially, my mother planned the perfect “surprise-I’m-pregnant-again” very sprinkle-esque ladies luncheon on a Saturday afternoon one month before my delivery. It was lovely, and there were no baby games whatsoever per my request, and it was at a nice brunch spot so the ladies could treat themselves to a mimosa if they liked… which they did.
Well, my first two children were girls, and now, pregnant with a boy clearly not so close in age to his sisters (they will be 4+ years and 3 years apart—almost exactly) I am being treated much differently. Perhaps it’s just because I’m having a boy this time around, but my sister-in-law is planning a very upscale, classy couples shower for my husband and me this time around much to my surprise. And wanting to invite lots (and I mean, lots) of people. Which to me, I find a bit puzzling because many of these people weren’t even invited to my first two showers with baby #1. One of which was just for family and beyond traditional, the other a couples shower we threw ourselves to celebrate with close friends. But you know, I’m going to let her, why not. Plus it’s the day before my birthday, which I will be very pregnant for, so what the heck. My son didn’t choose his birth order, and with two toddler girls, it’s not like I have anything even remotely boyish in my home.
So in reality, this is whatever you as a mother wants. You are the one that is carrying the baby, gaining the weight, losing sleep, feeling all the symptoms, and anything and everything else that comes with being a pregnant woman. I offered to help out as much as I can with my showers, and as a thank you to the person throwing the showers, they will likely oblige so they can do exactly what you want for your special celebration day. Baby showers/sprinkles aren’t just about the baby, but also about that super awesome woman who’s bringing the baby into this world. Don’t be shy about tailoring the party a bit to your liking—for me, that means no baby games, because really I don’t want people to guess how big that string is that wraps around me, I mean c’mon! So in preparation of your coming bundle of joy: have a party, even if it’s a small affair, and get some presents and enjoy some cake. It’s the least your family and friends can do for you for bringing a beautiful baby into this world.
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