I’ve always considered myself to be a bit of a superstitious person. Partially because my father was that way but also because it just came naturally to me. When I had my first child I was 26 years old. That isn’t overly young, and a pretty normal age for a first time mom, and granted I did turn 27 less than 2 weeks later. The second time I was 28. It came more naturally to me then but that was obviously because I had some practice for 14 months. Regardless, with my third child, now at 31, things just feel different. It’s like that old saying goes, “third time’s a charm.”
Now, it’s not like I failed at the other two, or at least I don’t think I did, but something just feels different this time around. Like I know exactly what I’m doing, and that I am calm, the least bit frazzled, and I am so ensconced in all things newborn with the slightest of ease. Already it’s almost been 4 weeks and it feels as if it has blown by so quickly, and each day feels like minutes more than days. A thought occurred to me the other day when chatting with a friend, why is it that when we are pregnant, it feels as if it will take forever to end? But when we have our baby, the days pass by so quickly. It’s true and rather interesting when you really think about it. Something to ponder, I suppose.
Perhaps another thing that is different this time is that I am not dreading going back to work. The feeling of knowing that your baby vacation (maternity leave) is coming to an abrupt end is daunting to say the least. Becoming enamored in all things baby is simple, and the feeling that you are going to be ripped away from this precious being is tangible inside your heart. I’ve been in those footsteps, and it’s challenging and mentally taxing on your fragile mind. Perhaps patience, the correct frame of mind, and knowing that this is to be my last child (I had my tubes tied) makes this all feel different to me. My family is complete now, all members are intact, and I don’t feel that lingering stress that I used to feel in the beginning like I did before. I haven’t had to once use formula, I am getting sleep, and my daughters dote on their baby brother and help me out effortlessly because they have a strong desire to Mommy him as well.
As much as I am not the most religious person, I think I know now what the very definition of a blessing really means. This child that came into our lives, completely unexpected, is the true meaning of what that word means. Now that I am a bit older, wiser, more patient and understanding, I realize to be grateful and I take in all goodness that is surrounding me. When I hear stories of new moms who are stressed, sleep deprived, nervous or anxious, my heart goes out to them because they are missing the bigger picture. It’s difficult when your shift focuses or when you feel unsure, but remember that you’re doing the best you can do, and sometimes that is plenty. Everything will work itself out, and sometimes just let life slow down, because these precious days will pass you by before you know it. And that tiny baby that you used to hold in your arms will be a tiny baby no more.
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