The Adjustment of Adding More Children

adding-more-childrenWhen you find that you are pregnant again, sometimes it may be met with a bit of shock and apprehension. Whether it’s a back-to-back baby, or a few/several years in between, the thought of adding more children to the bunch can make us feel a bit overwhelmed and/or nervous. A century ago families were typically large, with 6 or 7 kids not even being something to flinch at upon hearing. Nowadays 2 can seem like a lot with the way our world has changed. Children are undeniably expensive, demand most of our attention, and aren’t something to be taken lightly. With an 18 year commitment of parenting responsibility, the job doesn’t end even when that child grows into an adult. Adding more children to your family dynamic is a huge adjustment and not something that doesn’t come without a little bit of a struggle.

Get a Helping Hand From Older Siblings
Adding another child into your family means a shift in focus for one, as the current child (or children) will have someone new in their home that needs their Mommy too. If they are becoming a big brother/sister for the first time, this adjustment may be difficult for them to grasp. If they are very young, say 3 and under, then a huge dose of reality might hit once the baby is outside the womb and a part of their everyday world. Kids have a tendency to become jealous, especially when having to share Mommy and Daddy, so it’s best to take things slow and while your new baby commands your attention, be sure to include older brother/sister as much as possible.

Giving your children a chance to tackle their new role head-on may help make the adjustment run more smoothly. Have them help you fetch diapers and wipes, blankets, or other things like burp cloths if you need them. Children naturally like to have tiny responsibilities and most enjoy helping out if you assign them manageable tasks. If you already have two children or more, this one might not prove as difficult for you as you’re family will adjust to one more.

It May Be Time to Reassess the Work Situation

With the cost of reputable and trustworthy childcare steadily rising, many moms to multiple children aren’t left other reasonable options than to stay home and raise the kids. While the kids will most likely be delighted by the idea of being with Mommy(or Daddy) 24/7, it’s very trying initially to adapt to this new situation. Staying home might be nice at first, but once the novelty wears off some stay-at-home parents may be left feeling lost without purpose outside of parenthood. If this feeling plagues you it’s important to stay busy or work on a part-time basis if you have a realistic option available to you. Yes, you are a parent but you are a lot of other awesome things, too. Try and remember that amidst the constant chaos and diaper changing duties, among other things.

Adult Time? Pfft…
Having someone babysit “just one” baby/child is no where near as difficult as having someone look after your multiple children. Grandparents usually love to help out with their grandkids when they can, but the truth is that they don’t usually have the energy levels that we parents do… along with the same sleeping schedule. 9PM might be early for you, but that could easily equal bedtime to a grandparent.

Once there are multiple children in the picture you may find that those date nights start becoming much fewer and farther between. It’s important to have alone time with your spouse, so try and be proactive about spending time with one another once the kids are off to bed. You wouldn’t want your kids to reach high school age before you share intimacy with your partner again, because the most important relationship in the family between husband and wife will surely suffer.

Budgeting at Its Finest

The reality is that most households live on a modest income and are by no means rich. Not everyone is a doctor or a lawyer, and with each child that you add this puts more pressure and can consequently create a financial burden. While children are fantastic, it’s smart to plan how many children is best suited for your family financial situation. Sure babies are amazing, but soon they become demanding toddlers, and then pricy grade schoolers, followed by expensive teenagers, and eventually college-bound kids with a hefty tuition tag attached.

By being smart and realizing what your family can financially handle this will help tremendously from being ten years down the road and drowning in debt. We aren’t all Brad and Angelina and the idea of having 6 kids in today’s world would put a huge stress factor on most household incomes. Well, unless you’re perfectly comfortable with not having nice things and clipping coupons. But the reality of life is that we work hard so that we can have nice things, not extra kids that we can’t really afford.

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About This Blogger

Modi Palmer

Modi Palmer resides in Houston, Texas with her family. She loves to write, talk about all things mom/child, watch NFL football, and knows her way around the kitchen. She believes that life is short to be taken too seriously, and she tries to find humor in all situations. Her source of happiness stems from her family, and doing what she loves—writing.