Pregnant? Congratulations! I have some news for you that I feel is very important: Once you have that baby, you are never allowed to be sick again. I mean, ever.
I got hit with the plague this week. But not really. I’m not allowed to be sick. I’m a Mom.
Here are the top five reasons Moms can’t ever be sick:
1. Your children don’t care if you’re sick. They still need to eat, go to school and be bathed. Jerks.
2. Facebook isn’t going to update itself. I mean, really. If you’re sick, shouldn’t everyone KNOW?
3. Your kid’s brains will fry from watching that much TV. Oh wait, you’re sick. Who cares? Throw on Netflix. Teach them how to use the remote.
4. You house will actually, very literally, become a pigsty. If anyone can make it happen, it’s your kids.
5. If you’re sick, then your husband will get sick and then you have another child to take care of. And that’s the worst. Because when Men get sick, they are on death’s door and actually can’t do anything for themselves. It’s an awful condition known as the “Man-Cold”. And it is very, very real.
The moral of the story is deny, deny, deny. If you wake up with the chills, throw on a sweater and muster through. Take care of yourself, go to bed early and get better. Vitamin C. Tea. Soup.
No lying on the couch, no teaming up with a box of tissues and a Seinfeld marathon. No, no. That bathroom isn’t going to clean itself. Those kids aren’t going to put away their laundry. That’s Mom stuff. And you’re Mom. Think back. Was your Mom ever sick? Nope.
It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. And you HAVE to do it. So Mom up! Stay strong. And don’t let anyone know you feel like vomiting.
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