I was the oldest of four kids, so when my first baby was born, I wasn’t as worried about some of the things new moms are. I had seen my share of kids fall down, or get sick, so I wasn’t panicked over little things. There were some areas though that I put more effort into than I have for my other kids.
My oldest son’s first birthday party had a theme. I made a barnyard themed cake, we had matching plates, cups, napkins, favors, etc. I did a Candyland theme for my second son’s first birthday, with all the accessories. For my daughter’s first birthday, I made a pretty cake with sprinkles and birthday cake flavored marshmallows, and we bought pink plates. I don’t feel like we shortchanged her. It’s not like any of them will remember their first birthday anyway, and I was much less stressed this time because I didn’t drive myself crazy trying to do too much.
As my kids have gotten a little older, and I’ve gotten busier with taking care of three of them instead of just one, I’ve stopped doing some things that seemed more important when I had the time. I think that the problem is that there are some people that seem to do everything perfectly, and with Facebook, we get to see pictures of how someone we barely know had a perfect party for their child, along with the perfectly decorated nursery, the perfectly coordinated outfits for the family portraits, and so on. This sets an impossible standard to live up to. Before Facebook, we would only know this many details about a few close friends and family, but now we see close up into everyone’s lives.
We have never had a family picture done, and have only had formal pictures done a few times for the kids. Although some of my friends do have beautiful pictures of their families, I don’t think we are missing out. My favorite pictures end up being the ones we don’t get printed when we have formal pictures taken anyway. The ones where my son has the goofy grin as he holds up his favorite train, and he is wearing train stickers on his cheeks because he thought it would match. The expressions that are most “him” are not the perfect smiles. We have pictures that my mother-in-law took in the pool of my younger son in the air above his dad, both of them laughing. When you are busy trying to stage everything and make it perfect, you can miss out on the moments of spontaneous joy.
There is a saying about not being so busy making a living that you forget to make a life, but I think idea also applies to living your life as well. Don’t get so stuck on all the things that you should be doing to be a good mom that you lose sight of the things that will bring you and your family the most joy in the long run. It’s ok to be just a good enough mom who loves her kids and helps them make happy memories.
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